Feeling Overwhelmed? Here are 4 Simple Steps to Eliminate Overwhelm
A line sister/friend was in town visiting me recently from LA. She flew in for Howard’s homecoming and after having not seen one another in person for years, we had a lot of catching up to do. We spent most of the weekend joking about adulting - how the responsibilities never end. At one point we laughed about me being a human mom, a plant mom and a cat mom. And I shared that sometimes I get tired of taking care of all of the people and things around me. Maybe you can relate?
What is Overwhelm?
Once the weekend was over and I was back to business as usual, I had this feeling of heaviness that I couldn't shake. I felt like I was stuck at the intersection of too many decisions and too many responsibilities and all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and binge watch Netflix. Hello, overwhelmed!
Overwhelm comes when we feel like we have too much to manage. It’s that feeling that comes when the emails are piling up, not having any idea which one to reply first. Then there’s taking care of others, our homes, and ourselves. We are committed to too many things. And on top of all of that, we still have to find a way to show up and “work” because this human life has bills that we must pay to survive.
Some Causes of Overwhelm
Many of us experience overwhelm. Even in my line of work as someone who educates others on how to reduce stress and burnout, I still have my moments where life just feels like it’s more than I can handle. There can be many reasons that lead to feeling overwhelmed, and our reasons may not be the same, but they might also not look very different. We need to ultimately understand what drives overwhelm to find helpful solutions to reducing it. Perhaps one (or many) of the reasons below may be the strongest contributor to you currently feeling overwhelmed:
overworked at work (deadlines, bosses, colleagues)
health issues (illness, disease, chronic health condition, accidents)
money problems (debt, bills, insurances, loans)
relationship issues (break-ups, separations, conflicts)
traumatic experience (death of a loved one, abuse)
big life changes (married life, having a baby, moving to a different place, new job)
self-expectation (getting things done and playing different roles perfectly)
unknown factors (not knowing the how’s, why’s and what’s)
Signs and Symptoms Overwhelmed
Being overwhelmed could show up as signs and symptoms which you might not be aware of. This may hold true especially if you can’t name what you are feeling and where it’s coming from. Now that we’ve identified some of the things that may cause overwhelm, you should watch out for these changes in yourself or the people closest to you:
Mental fatigue. Having a lot of things on your mind to do and the corresponding roles that go with them, you may not know where and how to start. Just the thought of the long list of to-do’s, matters to decide on, uncertainties at hand can emotional strain. Sometimes you already feel tired even if you haven’t started to do anything at all. Your mind may struggle to focus, and each task may seem tedious or downright impossible.
Changes in mood. Though accomplishing the tasks may be top of mind, the will to act is might be absent. When this happens, you may find yourself getting irritated by simple unexpected things that come your way, become stressed or anxious, or cry for no apparent reason - simply because your mind and body feel like you have reached your capacity.
Crazy thoughts. You might not think as reasonably when you are overwhelmed. Oftentimes people find themselves avoiding personal problems since you don’t feel like you can deal with them rationally.
Avoidance. In addition to avoidance, you may find yourself unreasonably postpone responsibilities, as well as avoiding seeing or talking with family, relatives and friends. You might convince yourself that in your current state, staying away is best because your friends or family might judge you or will be unable to understand what you are going through.
Unreasonable reactions. You find yourself irrationally overreacting to very minor stressors which in the past you handled better. A few examples include getting hysterical when you see that your child’s toys are on the floor, or your partner forgot to turn off the lights in the bedroom, or your co-worker accidentally sends you the incorrect weekly report.
Physical signs. Unknowingly, if you are overwhelmed, you may feel pains or aches in your body that were never there before. Some common physical sensations include upset stomach, dizziness, rapid heartbeat, cramping, difficulty breathing, and more.
Negativity. Feeling like a negative Nancy? When you are overwhelmed, good vibes are hard to find. You might experience feelings of hopelessness, like nothing will ever work no matter how hard you try. Eventually, the feeling of helplessness might set in, making you believe you will never come out of your current situation.
How To Eliminate The Feeling of Overwhelm?
As I’m typing this and thinking about my to-do list, there is an underlying current of overwhelm beneath the surface. And based on my social media feed and just conversations with other people, many of us are feeling the same. We’re at the height of life, trying to balance businesses and careers with future planning and caring for very real, present moment things. So if any of this is resonating with you, here are four strategies that you can focus on (that I will also be using) to help eliminate overwhelm in your life.
Pause and step away: Now, hold on. Before you stop reading because I’ve told you to do what might feel like the farthest from what you need right now, stay with me here. Stepping away might seem really counterproductive with a never-ending to-do list, but stepping away, whether it's for a few moments or a few days, is really helpful in clearing the mind and letting the energy of overwhelm dissipate. Everything is energy. So when an emotion or feeling comes up, oftentimes we move so fast that we resist the feeling and try to do things to make it past. But sometimes the doing is in the nothingness. We just need to hold space for the emotion without an agenda and let the feelings surface so that they can pass. Stepping away allows us to do that. You can step away for a few moments and do some work to shift the energy, like breathwork or yoga. You can also elect to step away for a few days. Maybe take a solo weekend day away or a few days away to clear your head and just be. Allowing your mind and spirit to rest will be helpful for letting the feeling of overwhelm slowly disappear.
Declutter your life: We live in a time where we are all doing the most - really too much, most of the time, if we are being honest. If you find yourself constantly overwhelmed, it might be time to look at your responsibilities and commitments, and figure out where you can lighten your load. Is there a volunteer opportunity you can let go of? Is there a PTA commitment you can step away from? Is there an organization you joined that you can take a break from until you feel better mentally? What can you take off of your plate? This one is hard, I know. Because it seems like everything matters and is equally as important. But really, it's not. Truthfully, if you walked away from it, life would keep happening and the thing would persist. Note that with this option, there might not be a sudden exit. You may have to create a three to six month plan to begin to let things go, but think about the long-term goal. If in three to six months you feel lighter, it will all be worth it.
Get more organized: I find that when I feel super overwhelmed, I am trying to do one hundred things at one time. Despite society’s expectations, we are not designed to be multitasking machines. We are designed to focus on one thing at a time, execute at a high level, and then move to the next thing. So how can you focus on prioritizing and planning your days and weeks better? Instead of the unrealistic to-do list with ten things on it, maybe identify your top two to three things to get done today, and focus on them completely. Immediately relieving yourself of the other seven to eight tasks in the moment is going to make you feel so much better. The infamous and cliche saying “Rome wasn't built in a day” is so overused because it's so true. All we have is 24 hours in a day, so we have to be a bit more realistic about what we can do and accomplish.
Try my 5, 3, 1 Strategy: Right in line with getting more organized, I created and use often my 5,3,1, strategy. It’s a really simple method that goes a long way in helping you to prioritize your week to focus with more intention. To start, make a list of all the things you need to accomplish for your life, work or business. Then choose the highest priority 5 tasks and assign each one to a weekday. Next, assign 3 minor tasks that will help you accomplish the major tasks. And each weekday, just focus on these three tasks. Finally, choose 1 daily or weekly win/reward for yourself. Once you get through your week with this strategy, you’ll feel lighter, more accomplished and that deserves celebration. You can download my free 5, 3, 1 template by clicking here.
I have more tips to share, but I think that these are a great starting point for lightening your load. Review this list and journal about where you can start with making some changes today. Maybe could step away for a 30-minute coffee or lunch break alone, without distractions to begin strategizing a plan and way forward. And don’t forget to take my 5, 3, 1, download with you.
I will leave you with this - mental health is real. And stress and overwhelm, when left unaddressed, turn into many bad things such as addiction, depression and overeating as ways to cope. Maybe you are already coping in unhealthy ways, or feel yourself leaning towards unhealthy coping mechanisms. Before things get any worse, allow yourself to pause and think about what a plan looks like for you as you move forward. A few weeks or a few months from now, you’ll be thanking yourself immensely for doing the one best job of taking care of yourself.
